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The Audacity of Breaking Free!

         My own initiation into the war, the suffering, and death, was traumatic enough and too sudden. It never gave me time to build up mental defences. But again, in any war, there never is enough time, is there? The very morning of the first day me and nine other comrades arrived in the detachment where we were deployed to, we were welcomed by a baptism of fire.

      We had walked all night in the rain and we were soaked to the skin. There were fifteen of us. Of the fifteen, ten were new arrivals and the other five had already been in the detachment for some time. Though it was already daylight, it was foggy and one could not see anywhere far. I didn’t know my way around and, being on my first day in the detachment, I didn’t have any bearings at all. How could I have my bearings after all?

      First we were forced to walk downstream for several hours to reach a bridge, to be able to cross a swollen river. Then we followed the river again upstream on the opposite bank, before we scampered from the deep valley to the top of what looked like a plateau. For a long while we were walking on what seemed like a flat terrain, before we appeared to go round a hill, then all of a sudden down into a valley and across another bridge. We followed a road for a couple of kilometres, before we turned right into a bush path.

      By the time we reached a tarred road, I could not tell the east from the west. We did not cross the road immediately. We stopped for a few minutes on the side of the road, then we turned left and walked some fifteen or twenty metres on the same side of the road, but still in the bush. Before I knew it we were crossing the road by passing under a grid.

      The heavy rain had stopped then, but it was still drizzling. I was exhausted to the marrow, but I was not going to allow this experience to shade the many days to come with bitter anguish. I, as all my comrades with me on this day, had dared dream of a free Zimbabwe without the pain and anguish of colonialism and everything that it stood for.

      Though it was foggy, I could tell that it was almost daybreak. We had been on the march all night. Shortly after crossing the tarred road, we came to some villages. It crossed my mind that we must have reached our destination, because we soon stopped at one of the homes in the village. Comrade Mao, who had been leading the group all the way, woke up the villagers and asked for the whereabouts of the other comrades.

      I was relieved to know that we were finally there. We learnt that our comrades were in the neighbourhood and had already waken up for the day. Since it was daylight, we figured that they would soon be back from patrol. We deployed in groups of three per home, across the village, as it was still drizzling.

      We had not even settled down when I realised that my mouth had suddenly gone sour. Before I could figure anything out, there was gunfire.

      “Welcome to the battle front,” said Chagera who had been deployed with Nyoka and me. Chagera was not new like me and Nyoka. If anything, we had to rely on him, at least to show us the way around. “Don’t do anything stupid. First, let’s figure out from which direction the fire is coming, before we get out in the open,” he advised.

      We looked through the window and saw a couple of villagers running.

      Chagera shouted, “Let’s go!”

      We ran out of the house with Chagera leading. He knew the way around. He knew the people and the people knew him. Instantly, he was the leader and we followed him.

      As we retreated, still soaked wet, tired and hungry from the previous night’s rain and long march, we met other comrades. Chagera quickly introduced us.

      Soon we had retreated into the nearby hill. We took a battle formation and waited. Though I was tired, the morning cold, hunger, and my wet clothes kept me wide awake.

      It had stopped raining and the fog was rapidly clearing. I could have taken the opportunity to change my clothes, but, unfortunately, I didn’t have a second pair of clothes. The wet clothes I was wearing was all the clothes I had in this world. I had to accept my situation as it was in the hope that I would be strong enough to survive it to the bitterest end.

      As the morning slowly dragged away, it became sunny and I hoped that my clothes would soon dry. Also, the danger of a battle seemed to gradually die away with the morning. I sat there, observing the terrain around me. I needed to appreciate my neighbourhood as quickly as possible, even if it meant doing so from a distance.

      Then I thought I felt my mouth going sour again and suddenly there was gunfire not far off from where I was sitting. Instinctively, within a split of a second, I was laying flat on the ground, wanting to establish the source of the gunfire, my gun in hand and ready for action. I didn’t have to wait long as a barrage of gunfire followed. The enemy had attacked again. I returned fire in the direction of the attack. That was my first time to pull the trigger at the actual enemy.

      I began putting into practice all the tactics I had learnt during training as I started retreating. I crawled first, then when I was sure I was out of danger I was up and running at hip level. As I retreated I saw two other comrades following me. Since I didn’t know my way around, I thought it wise to wait for them to catch up with me. Though they were not far, they seemed to take long to catch up with me.

      It was not until they joined me that I realised that Comrade Bere, whom I had just been introduced to that morning, had been shot and injured in the left leg. With him was Comrade Chidhoma. We helped the injured comrade to retreat to safety. I was happy that at least I had with me two comrades who knew the area and where well known by the villagers. Most importantly, I would get a detailed briefing on the situation on the ground.

      After we had reached a place that was reasonably safe, we set about nursing the wounds of Comrade Bere. His left shin bone appeared to be broken and would require proper medical attention. We hoped that night we would be able to reunite with the rest of our comrades and get Bere the appropriate help he so urgently needed. Bere had lost a lot of blood and I noticed he was getting pale.

      “I think what we should do now is send one of the villagers to try and identify where the other comrades are and notify them that Bere is injured.” I proposed this to Comrade Chidhoma.

       “That is a good idea,” Chidhoma said.  “I will try to get to the village and see if I can find someone to send. Keep an eye on him and try to give him more water. I won’t be long.”

      I agreed and Chidhoma left me with Bere. We waited all afternoon, but Comrade Chidhoma never returned. Soon the sun was about to set, and I realised that I had to have another plan. I advised Bere that we had to start slowly into the village, whilst it was still daylight. Any further delay would complicate matters.

      Bere agreed to my plan and we started for the nearby village. Step by step we made it, slowly and painfully down the hill. I was leading the way, carrying Bere’s gun, his ammunition, and my own as well. As we approached the village, I realised that Bere was too weak to continue.

      I sat him down and said, “Bere, come what may, I will make sure that you receive the attention you need. But you cannot proceed any further now. I suggest that we wait here until dusk, then I will go into the village and bring whoever I find to come and carry you.”

      “It is a good idea, but no one knows you in the village. They may become suspicious and create more problems than helping. Just give me time to rest and we will soon make it into the village. It may be late, but we will make it.”

      I reluctantly agreed and allowed him to rest. As the sun was just about to set, I asked him whether we could continue with our painful progress into the village. Bere wanted to stand up, but he was too weak. I tried to support him, but that did not help either. Bere was slightly more heavily built than me so that I could not carry him on my back.